Sunday, January 22, 2012

18th birthday party and a farewell

Last night was our eldest son's 18th birthday party. It went well. We were a little worried - hearing lots of horror stories! However, it was all a lot of fun The young adults all were very polite and well behaved. As 18 is the legal age for alcohol consumption in Australia, 18 brings all the dilemmas that go with this. One boy over-indulged - or just drank too quickly and too many varieties. He was quite sick and it was a little worrying. Anyway, after constant checking he got up at 2am and was singing songs and generally enjoying himself. If I was his parents I would be so worried. I asked my DS about his family and his opinion is that they don't like it but seem unable to prevent it. So sad to see someone wrecking their young life. Today was spent tidying up and getting ready for DH to take DS to a new town and a new job. I think that this has all happened so quickly and there has been so much to do that I didn't really have a chance to think about the emotions involved. When they drove out this afternoon I was just so overwhelmed and totally devastated. I kept seeing that tiny baby I was handed in the birthing suite and not believing that 18 years have passed and he is going off to pursue his own goals. I want those years back. I want to do them all again. It has taken all my will power not to phone them and say "Come home - we'll find you a job here.". Of course I didn't. I know the theory - you only have your children on loan and if you are successful in parenting then this is what they do - fly the coop and make lives of their own. I keep thinking that they didn't cover this in the ante-natal classes I attended all those years ago - those sessions that were supposed to prepare me to be a parent. They should have spent less time on how to change nappies and more on how to let go!! I've had my cry. Now I have to get over it. A very busy week ahead - one starting kindy, two starting high school. I can see lots more tears ahead. My eldest DD is starting ballet in pointe shoes - a very big moment in a young ballerina's life. So she and I are going tomorrow to do the special fitting and buy these shoes. Another milestone. I have to try and savor every moment - all too soon and she will be 18 and going on her way. I am very aware, too, that all my children are still with me and that many other parents are suffering the loss of their children in a much more real sense. My heart has ached for these parents as I have felt sorry for myself - I can't even imagine the loss they must feel. I'll be fine. Sometimes you just need to be a little melancholy and reminisce all those little moments! Cheers - need some sleep - 3 hours is just not enough!

1 comment:

Narelle said...

You've been in my thoughts today ... we're allowed to cry :)